Tuesday, March 13, 2012

haya' (shyness)

What is Haya?

Haya itself is derived from the word hayat which means life. This term covers a wide number of concepts. In English, it may be translated as modesty, shyness, self-respect, bashfulness, shame, honour, humility, etc. The original meaning of Haya according to a believer's nature, refers to a bad and uneasy feeling accompanied by embarrassment, caused by one's fear of being exposed or censured for some unworthy or indecent conduct. Islamically Haya is an attribute which pushes the believer to avoid anything distasteful or abominable. It keeps him/her from being neglectful in giving everyone what is due upon them, and if for any reason he/she is not able to keep up with his/her commitment then they will feel extremely uncomfortable and ashamed about this. The reason being that he/she will have displeased Allah by breaking a commitment.

Haya plays a huge role in the lives of Muslims because it is a very important part of our Iman (faith/belief). If we do not have any form of haya within us then it is most likely that our Iman is very weak. For as it states in the following hadith:

Narrated by Abu Huraira (ra): The Prophet said, "Faith (Belief) consists of more than sixty branches (i.e. parts). And Haya is a part of faith." (Bukhari)

We also learn from the Prophet (saws) the importance of having haya and how it is not something to be ashamed of, but instead, one should be concerned and ashamed if they do not possess it within their character. Narrated Abdullah ibn Umar (ra): The Prophet (saws) passed by a man who was admonishing his brother regarding Haya and was saying, "You are very shy, and I am afraid that might harm you." On that, Allah's Apostle said, "Leave him, for Haya is (a part) of Faith." (Bukhari)

Now the above hadith is also a form of proof that "shyness" is not just something regarding women but also an attribute that believing men should have, for it is an indication if their fear of Allah and an indication of the value of their Deen.

When we think back to when we were young around eight or nine years old -we all remember this feeling of shyness and humility naturally occurring - for many it was when we felt we wanted to conceal our bodies from our mums or siblings. We were often told - "don't be silly" or "we have seen it all before" and the many other comments that people in the west or ignorant Muslim parents affected by the western values (or lack of them) say to their pure children. If these natural instincts of shyness and shame are taken by the smart parent and nurtured, it will develop and affect their entire character and also most importantly lead to a conscious responsible Muslim who prioritise their life towards submission to Allah (swt).

We often find that shyness, humility and bashfulness is frowned upon by our society as a weakness or a lack of confidence when, Infact these are quality of a dignified upright human being, who is conscious of their actions and their responsibilities in life.

Now to discuss the different types of haya. How many types of haya are there? Haya' is of two kinds: good and bad:

The good HayĆ¢' is to be ashamed to commit a sin or a thing which Allah and His Messenger (saws) has forbidden, and bad HayĆ¢' is to feel ashamed to do a thing, which Allah and His Messenger (saws) ordered to do. Firstly, to talk about the types of Good haya. For example, anyone who is a believer, he/she should build their personalities and their character with the good dimensions of haya. The most important is that he/she must be shy of doing ANYTHING displeasing to Allah (swt), with the belief that he/she will have to answer for all their deeds. If one develops a sense such as this one, it will help the believer to obey all of Allah's command and to stay away from sins. Once the believer realises that Allah (swt) is watching us all the time and we will have to answer to every move we make in this dunya (world), he/she would not neglect any order from Allah or His Messenger (saws). So the stronger this sense of haya becomes, the more it motivates one to make sure that Allah (swt) doesn't see him/her doing anything prohibited. The way to develop this haya is that one must keep learning and absorbing more knowledge and applying it to their lives.

Another type of haya is more of a social aspect concerning others besides Allah (swt). Normally these things often come in regard with ones relationship with family. For instance, a child not wanting to do something displeasing to his mother, or a wife not wanting to do something displeasing to her husband or even a student who is careful about saying something incorrect in front of his teacher.. Last but not least is the type of haya in which the believers become shy of themselves. This is when they have reached the peek of their Iman. What this means is that if they do, or say, or see, anything wrong or even commit the tiniest sin, they start to feel extremely bad and embarrassed or they feel extreme guilt in their heart. This builds a high degree of self-consciousness and that is what strengthens the believers commitment to Allah (swt)

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