The End is near; Turn back to Allah

Credit to Maryam from Suhaibwebb.com


The driver was playing Qur’an. My husband, brother and I got into the microbus heading back from Palestine to Cairo, and rode almost silently with the five other male passengers, passing through the desert and listening to the Qur’an only hours before it would be time to break our fast. As iftar approached, one of the young men pulled out apples, dates and water bottles and began passing them around the small vehicle.

SubhanAllah, if Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala had not blessed us with food through this man, many of us may have had nothing to break our fasts with.

We broke our fast; it was the first of the last ten nights in Ramadan. These are the nights of Allah’s forgiveness! And look at how the passengers were seeking Allah’s mercy – through the Qur’an, through sharing their food, through acts of righteous deeds.

Soon after breaking our fast to the adhan on the radio and recitation of the Qur’an, one of the brothers busted out a cigarette pack. Allahu Al-Musta`an, may Allah help us, I thought. Smoking? In Ramadan? In the microbus?

Out of his generosity, he shared the pack. One by one, young and old, almost all of the riders started smoking. Within a few minutes, the Qur’an was replaced with massively beating Egyptian music that BLASTED throughout the bus. We continued on for some time, as my husband, brother and I almost choked on the second hand smoke, attempting to sleep, exhausted from our long trip, while the other passengers partied.

Suddenly, amongst miles of desert, a café appeared on the side of the road. “I see people praying!” said a young rider. “Let’s stop here to pray maghrib!”

So the bus pulled over and we got out and prayed. After the travelers took another cigarette and sheesha break at the café, we piled back in and continued our music-blasting-cigarette-smoking trip.

My first impression of these individuals was good: look at how much they are seeking Allah in Ramadan, I thought, with the Qur’an, with adhkar, and with generosity to their brothers. But once music replaced the Qur’an, and the smoke filled the air –on such a holy night of the year no less – I realized how they really were seeking Allah.

Clearly these people were addicted to cigarettes, yet they fought to refrain from it during the day so that they could fast for Allah’s sake. And even though they thoroughly seemed to enjoy listening to crazy loud love songs, subhan’Allah, they perhaps fought this desire for hours to instead listen to the Qur’an while they maintained their fast. And even in the middle of the arduous journey, even while traveling, they refused to postpone their salah, they searched for a place to pray, and stopped their journey home so that they could maintain this connection with Allah `azza wa jal.

How many of us first read the two perceptions of the microbus riders and felt they were hypocrites for doing “righteous deeds” while fasting in the day and then engaging in seemingly “unrighteous” deeds in the night? Yet how many of us fast during Ramadan yet refuse to build our relationships with our parents causing them pain every time we withhold a smile or a pleasant conversation? How many of us prayed taraweeh in Ramadan and wept, yet swear never to marry a person who is a different color? How many of us are giving charity yet fill our hearts with anger and jealousy over what others have and what we wish was only ours? How many of us wear hijab and feel like we’re superior to sisters who look like Abercrombie and Fitch models, although perhaps it’s only because they’re dealing with a reality we’d never be able to handle? How many of our brothers think they are so much more on the truth because they are hafidh of the Qur’an, have accomplished many pilgrimages and sport long beards, yet “out of piety”, openly defame and slander scholars simply because they hold a different viewpoint?

We all have issues, yet when the Lord of the Worlds (swt) turns to us out of His mercy, we also struggle to maintain a connection with Him. And perhaps, this is not hypocrisy, this is a sign of our belief in Allah (swt). Perhaps we too look at ourselves and call all good actions mixed with bad actions “two-faced.” But perhaps Allah (swt) is calling His angels to witness and mention our struggles to please Him, despite peer pressure and our own intense desires.

Those good deeds that are mixed with our failings actually help wipe out our sins:

…Indeed, good deeds do away with misdeeds…” (Qur’an, 11:114)

Allah `azza wa jal tells us in a Hadith Qudsi: “O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great at it.” [ Tirmithi and Ahmad]

It’s time to go back to Allah and work towards gaining His Pleasure! Ramadan has nearly ended, yet Allah’s forgiveness and vast mercy is never ending. Let us go back to Allah (swt) in the days after the blessed month. Let us turn to Him, make tawbah and ask Him to give us steadfastness in doing good deeds.

The best supplication to ask for Allah’s forgiveness is the following:

بﻮُﻧﱡﺬﻟا َ ﱠﻻِإ َﺖْﻧَأ ﻲَﻠَﻋ ،َّ ءﻮُﺑَأَو ُ ﻲِﺒْﻧَﺬِﺑ ﺮِﻔْﻏﺎَﻓ ﻲِﻟ ﻪﱠﻧِﺈَﻓ ُ َﻻ ُﺮِﻔْﻐَﻳ ءﻮُﺑَأ ُ ﻚَﻟ َ َﻚِﺘَﻤْﻌِﻨِﺑ ، ذﻮُﻋَأ ُ ﻚِﺑ َ ﻦِﻣ ْ ﺮَﺷ ِّ ﺎَﻣ ﺖْﻌَﻨَﺻ ، ﺎَﻧَأَو ﻰَﻠَﻋ كِﺪْﻬَﻋ َ كِﺪْﻋَوَو َ ﺎَﻣ ﺖْﻌَﻄَﺘْﺳا ﻲِﻨَﺘْﻘَﻠَﺧ ﺎَﻧَأَو كُﺪْﺒَﻋ ، ﻢُﻬﱠﻠﻟا َّ ﺖْﻧَأ َ ﻲﱢﺑَر ّﻻ ﻪَﻟِإ َ ﱠﻻِإ ﺖْﻧَأ Allahumma anta rabbee la ilaha illa ant, khalaqtanee wa-ana AAabduk, wa-ana `AAala AAahdika wawaAAdika mas-tataAAt, aAAoothu bika min sharri ma sanaAAt, aboo-o laka biniAAmatika AAalay, wa-aboo-o bithanbee, faghfir lee fa-innahu la yaghfiruth-thunooba illa ant.

‘O Allah, You are my Lord, none has the right to be worshipped except You, You created me and I am Your servant and I abide to Your covenant and promise as best I can, I take refuge in You from the evil of which I committed. I acknowledge Your favor upon me and I acknowledge my sin, so forgive me, for verily none can forgive sin except You.’

The Prophet has taught us that, “If somebody recites it during the day with firm faith in it and dies on the same day before the evening, he will be from the people of Paradise and if somebody recites it at night with firm faith in it and dies before the morning he will be from the people of Paradise.”

Here’s our action plan to continue turning back to Allah (swt):

1) Begin establishing a connection with the Qur’an to help you stay firm.

Block some time every day to read a specified amount of Qur’an (from as little as one verse to as many pages as you can) in a language that you understand. Remain consistent with this Qur’anic connection; this will remind you that seeking Allah’s Pleasure is ongoing and brings about magnificent success .

2) Increase in good deeds to wipe out bad deeds.

Increase in smiling at and helping people

Make istighfar daily

Give $1 in charity.

Text or email your mom and dad and tell them you love and appreciate them…or even better – tell them face to face!

Park correctly, travel responsibly and remember Allah on your journeys.

We all have flaws in our character, yet Allah (swt) is the Remover of our weaknesses. Despite our shortcomings, Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala loves our struggle to come back to Him and is always ready to accept our repentance. So towards the end of Ramadan, let us keep great hope in Allah’s words and know that Allah WILL forgive us – when we turn back to Him first:

“Say: O ‘Ibadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah, verily Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” (Qur’an, 39:53)

Suamiku orang ‘Tabligh’

Syadah merenung jauh di balik tirai jendela rumahnya. Permandangan di luar rumah sungguh mendamaikan. Dia bersyukur ke hadrat Ilahi kerana menempatkan dirinya tinggal di kawasan kampung. Baginya kehidupan di kampung lebih tenang berbanding hiruk pikuk kehidupan di bandar. Tiba-tiba hatinya merasa sebak. Ketika ini dia bersendirian di rumah mengenangkan suaminya yang sedang khuruj ke jalan Allah selama 3 hari.

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“Syadah, mak ada berita nak sampaikan kat Syadah ni..” beritahu mak suatu hari di waktu kami sedang bersarapan.

“Apa dia mak, lain macam jer bunyinya..” Syadah memandang wajah ibunya. Sejak ayahnya meninggal, ibunyalah tempat dia mencurahkan kasih sayang dan bergantung harap. Sayangnya dia pada ibunya tidak bertepi. Dia sanggup bersusah payah demi melihat ibunya gembira.

“Semalam, masa kamu pergi tadika, ada Azizi dan ibubapanya datang jumpa mak. Dia nak merisik kamu. Kalau kamu terima, 3 bulan lagi majlis perkahwinan dan nikah akan dijalankan” beritahu mak lagi.

“Hah!.. Azizi anak Pak Hashim tu ke mak? Yang kerja kat kilang hujung kampung kita tu?” Syadah agak terkejut bercampur teruja.

“Ha’ah.. Dialah, sapa lagi..”

Hati Syadah berbunga. Dia sebenarnya memang menaruh hati pada Azizi. Azizi, seorang pemuda lulusan kejuruteraan dari UiTM. Bekerja sebagai jurutera di kilang kampung ini, berwatakan sederhana, berkopiah sentiasa di kepala dengan janggut yang sejemput, berpakaian kurta dan berseluar slack, kadangkala mengenakan jubah, mencerminkan identiti islamiknya. Manakala Syadah gadis kampung lulusan STPM, dan bekerja sebagai guru tadika berdekatan rumahnya. Apa pun dia seorang yang memelihara diri dan maruah. Menutup aurat yang sempurna seperti mana yang disyariatkan Allah. Sudah tentu dengan niali-nilai Islam yang diterapkan ibu padanya menyebabkan hidupnya terpelihara dari perkara-perkara yang tidak baik.

“Arghh.. Alangkah gembiranya seandainya aku dapat memiliki Si Azizi..” bisik hati kecil Syadah.

“Hey Syadah, dengar tak apa mak cakap ni!” sergah mak selepas melihat aku mengelamun seketika.

“Aah..aa.. Dengar mak. Alaa mak ni, ikut maklah. Kalau mak tarima, Syadah pun terima juga. Mana yang baik bagi mak, baiklah juga bagi Syadah.” Syadah tersenyum penuh makna memandang wajah ibunya.

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“Syadah sayang. Syadah gembira tak kita dah jadi suami isteri?” soal Azizi sebaik mereka sah menjadi suami isteri.

“Mestilah gembira. Lelaki idaman yang Syadah impikan menjadi kenyataan..” jawab Syadah tersipu malu.

“Sebenarnya Syadah pun wanita pujaan abang. Bila pertama kali jumpa Syadah, hati abang berdegup kencang. Apatah lagi bila lihat Syadah pergi tadika perpakaian jubah dan bertudung labuh. Sejuk hati melihatnya..” beritahu Azizi berterus terang pada isterinya.

“Yeke? Terima kasih abang. Syadah harap abang sudi bimbing diri Syadah ni jadi isteri dan wanita solehah..” jawab Syadah.

“InsyaAllah sayang. Bukankah dalam Al-Quran ada kata wanita yang baik untuk lelaki yang baik, dan wanita yang jahat untuk lelaki yang jahat.”

Syadah tersenyum memandang wajah suaminya. Hatinya kini sudah dimiliki oleh insan yang didambakan selama ini.

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Pulang dari kerja, Syadah menyambut Azizi dengan bersalam dan mencium tangan suaminya dengan hati yang gembira. Dia menatap wajah suaminya yang agak kepenatan.

“Banyak kerja ke bang, letih je nampaknya?” tanya Syadah pada suaminya.

“A’ah sayang. Kerja kat kilang tu melambak-lambak. Lagi pula, kilang abang bulan depan kena shutdown. Lagilah sibuk” jelas Azizi semula.

“Oh.. begitu ke?” Syadah tersenyum memandang suaminya.

Setelah menukar pakaian, mereka berdua menikmati minuman petang, air kopi habbatussauda’ dengan kuih karipap.

“Sedap kuih ni, pandai Syadah buat ye. Kalau makan sedap-sedap macam ni, gemuklah abang..”

“Ala abang ni.. Biasa je kuih tu.. Pandai-pandai je abang ni..” Syadah mencubit lengan suaminye kerana usikan itu.

“Ni abang nak bagitahu ni, esok abang nak keluar 3 hari tau.”

“Esok ke bang? Kalau tak keluar tak boleh ke? Sunyilah Syadah abang tak ada 3 hari ni” saja Syadah bertanya begitu. Dia memang tahu, sejak berkahwin dengan Azizi, setiap bulan memang wajib suaminya keluar dakwah di jalan Allah selama 3 hari.

“Yelah sayang.. Dah lupa ke?”

“Ermm.. Ingatlah.. Saja je tanya..”

Sebenarnya Syadah berat hati nak bagi suaminya keluar. Usia perkahwinan mereka baru 4 bulan. Seharusnya waktu yang ada dihabiskan bersama-sama kerana mereka berdua masih dalam proses mengenali antara satu dengan lain. Dia sendiri pun masih tak faham dengan usaha dakwah dan tabligh. Hatinya sedikit memberontak bila mengetahui Azizi terlibat dalam usaha ini. Apatah lagi rata-rata kawannya memandang negatif dengan usaha tabligh ni.

Memang dia akui Azizi seorang suami yang taat pada perintahNya. Solat lima waktu berjemaah di masjid adalah wajib baginya. Tiada istilah lelaki solat di rumah. Amalan tahajjud, tilawah Al-Quran dan zikir merupakan amalan hariannya. Dan yang pasti bila berbicara terserlah ilmu agama yang dimilikinya. Lantas, Syadah seharusnya bersyukur dengan Allah atas kurniaan ini. Cuma dia masih cuak dengan kerja dakwah ini. Perlukah buat kerja ni di zaman moden dan teknologi seperti sekarang ni. Kenapa tak dakwah guna radio ke, buku ke, TV ke, internet ke, macam ustaz atau penceramah agama buat sekarang ni. Argghh.. Syadah terkeliru, bingung. Sememangnya dia terlalu baru untuk memahami susur jalur perjuangan dakwah tabligh ni.

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Suatu malam Syadah dan Azizi berbicara tentang usaha dakwah dan tabligh ni.

“Sayang, apa yang sayang tahu pasal jemaah tabligh ni?” tanya Azizi pada isteri tercinta sambil membelai ubun-ubun isterinya.

“Entahla bang. Yang Syadah tahu, orang kata tabligh ni suka tinggal anak bini berbulan-bulan. Tak bagi nafkah zahir batin kat keluarga.” jawab Syadah jujur.

Azizi tergelak mendengar jawapan isterinya. Itulah manusia menilai sesuatu dari luar tanpa mahu memahami isi dalamnya.

“Syadah sayang, cuba Syadah fikir, orang tabligh je ke yang tinggal anak bini. Habis tu, orang zaman sekarang ni, yang pergi kursus, outstation, pastu ada yang kerja kat pelantar minyak, sebulan di laut sebulan di darat, ada pula yang suami sambung belajar bertahun di luar negara, macam tu tak pe pula, tak ada pun orang nak pertikaikan. Cuba Syadah renung firman dalam Al-Quran yang mafhumNya:

Katakanlah (wahai Muhammad): “Jika bapa-bapa kamu, dan anak-anak kamu, dan saudara-saudara kamu, dan isteri-isteri (atau suami-suami) kamu, dan kaum keluarga kamu, dan harta benda yang kamu usahakan, dan perniagaan yang kamu bimbang akan merosot, dan rumah-rumah tempat tinggal yang kamu sukai, (jika semuanya itu) menjadi perkara-perkara yang kamu cintai lebih daripada Allah dan RasulNya dan (daripada) berjihad untuk agamaNya, maka tunggulah sehingga Allah mendatangkan keputusanNya (azab seksaNya); kerana Allah tidak akan memberi petunjuk kepada orang-orang yang fasik (derhaka).” (At-Taubah 9:24)

“Erm, betul juga kata abang. Entahlah, Syadah pun tak tahulah bang. Syadah sendiri pun baru nak belajar mengenali dakwah tabligh ni.”

“Sebenarnya usaha dakwah ni kerja Nabi s.a.w, Syadah kan tahu macam mana Nabi s.a.w sanggup bersusah payah nak dakwahkan kalimah tauhid ni, kena ejek, kena baling batu sampai berdarah, kena lempar dengan najis, jumpa orang rumah ke rumah, lorong ke lorong, semata-mata nak ajak manusia kembali kepada Allah, supaya dapat hakikat Laa ilaha illallah, tidak menyembah makhluk tapi menyembah Allah yang Esa. Kita ni umat akhir zaman. Allah jadikan kita sebaik-baik umat, kan dalam Al-Quran ada kata:

“Kamu (wahai umat Muhammad) adalah sebaik-baik umat yang dilahirkan bagi (faedah) umat manusia, (kerana) kamu menyuruh berbuat segala perkara yang baik dan melarang daripada segala perkara yang salah (buruk dan keji), serta kamu pula beriman kepada Allah (dengan sebenar-benar iman). Dan kalaulah Ahli Kitab (Yahudi dan Nasrani) itu beriman (sebagaimana yang semestinya), tentulah (iman) itu menjadi baik bagi mereka. (Tetapi) di antara mereka ada yang beriman dan kebanyakan mereka: orang-orang yang fasik.” (A-li’Imraan 3:110)

Usaha yang kita lakukan sekarang ni hanya dalam 10% sahaja berbanding usaha sahabat sahabiyah dahulu, mereka sanggup korban diri, harta, anak bini, semata-mata nak syahid di jalan Allah, semata-mata nak tengok kalimah Allah tertegak di atas muka bumi ini. Sebab tu mereka ni di dunia lagi Allah Ta’ala telah redha pada mereka dan menjanjikan syurga untuk mereka. Lagipun sayang, abang tinggal Syadah ni bukan kat padang pasir seperti Siti Hajar dan Ismail yang di tinggalkan Ibrahim. Mereka lagilah, kena tinggal tanpa sebarang asbab untuk mereka hidup, tiada makanan dan tempat tinggal, tiada jiran-jiran, tapi sebab redha dengan perintah Allah dan sebab dakwah, Nabi Ibrahim rela melakukannya. Syadah ni abang tinggal, duduk dalam rumah yang selesa, cukup peralatan rumahnya, keperluan dah abang sediakan, takkan macam tu pun tak sanggup lagi. Habis, Syadah nak abang berkepit duduk bawah ketiak Syadah 24 jam, macam tu?” Azizi sengaja mengenakan isterinya sambil mencubit hujung hidung isterinya yang mancung itu.

“Bukanlah sampai macam tu abang. Cuma Syadah cemburu, orang lain bila suami balik kerja, ada kat umah sampai malam, lepas tu boleh main dengan anak-anaknya, sembahyang pun kat rumah berjemaah dengan isteri dan anak-anak. Ada masa bermesra dengan keluarga. Tapi abang, balik kerja rehat sebentar, lepas tu pukul enam lebih dah nak kena pergi ghastlah, mesyuaratlah, malam markaslah, kalau hari Isnin hingga Khamis memang tak merasa abang ada waktu petang. Balik pun lewat malam.” Syadah menerangkan situasi yang sedang dilalui ini.

“Itulah namanya lima amal masjid. Yang kita kena keluar 3 hari, 40 hari, 4 bulan tu, untuk kita belajar buat kerja Nabi, untuk wujudkan suasana iman dan amal dalam berdakwah, dan bila balik, medan perjuangan kita adalah dengan menghidupkan lima amal masjid ni. Fikir harian atau mesyuarat harian, lepas tu khususi orang tertentu kena bagi masa dua jam setengah, lepas tu buat taklim di rumah dan masjid, kena ziarah kat kampung sendiri dan kampung jiran dan setiap bulan keluar 3 hari dengan membawa jemaah yang baru. Lima amal masjid ni merupakan amalan Masjid Nabawi, yang mana sahabat buat untuk dakwahkan Islam. Sebab tu sekarang ni, kita nak belajar bagi masa untuk agama, dunia dan akhirat kena seimbang. Duniakan jambatan untuk akhirat, cuba kita tengok jambatan, mana ada orang bina rumah ke, istana ke kat atas jambatan. Orang nak memancing atas jambatan pun di larang tau.” terang Azizi panjang lebar sambil melirik mata pada isterinya.

“Tak apalah abang. Syadah cuba belajar memahami kerja dakwah dan tabligh ni. Walaupun sukar tapi Syadah akan berusaha untuk mengatasinya.”

“Macam tu lah isteri abang yang cantik jelita ni. Nanti abang bawa Syadah jumpa ahlia karkun kat kampung ni. Hah, ahlia Cikgu Abas tu, dia dah banyak pengalaman keluar masturat tau. Bolehlah Syadah belajar daripada ahlianya dan lagi Syadah boleh berkenalan dengan ahlia karkun bila pergi taklim mingguan masturat nanti. Jangan lupa beri tasykil untuk keluar masturat 3 hari, ye!” Syadah tersenyum memandang suaminya.

“InsyaAllah bang” jawab Syadah.

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Syadah tersedar dari lamunannya. Dia mengesat air matanya yang mengalir di pipi. Sesungguhnya dia hanya manusia biasa yang lemah untuk menghadapi kehidupan ini, mungkin dia terlalu berharap Azizi menjadi hak milik mutlaknya. Tetapi dia lupa, bahawa manusia ini adalah pinjaman sebagaimana firman Allah:

“Sesungguhnya Allah telah membeli dari orang-orang yang beriman akan jiwa mereka dan harta benda mereka dengan (balasan) bahawa mereka akan beroleh Syurga, (disebabkan) mereka berjuang pada jalan Allah maka (di antara) mereka ada yang membunuh dan terbunuh. (Balasan Syurga yang demikian ialah) sebagai janji yang benar yang ditetapkan oleh Allah di dalam (Kitab-kitab) Taurat dan Injil serta Al-Quran; dan siapakah lagi yang lebih menyempurnakan janjinya daripada Allah? Oleh itu, bergembiralah dengan jualan yang kamu jalankan jual-belinya itu, dan (ketahuilah bahawa) jual-beli (yang seperti itu) ialah kemenangan yang besar.” (At-Taubah 9:111)

Dia harus kuat dan sabar. Dunia ini hanya pinjaman dan akhirat juga yang kekal abadi. Kalau di dunia ini ada pangkat, harta, darjat tapi tidak mengamalkan agama dalam kehidupan, sudah tentu semuanya sia-sia sahaja.

“Ya, aku harus kuat, kuat untuk memperoleh keredhaan Allah. Biarkan manusia yang tidak faham dan tidak mahu mengerti usaha dakwah dan tabligh ini. Tapi aku akan sentiasa berdoa semoga Allah kekalkan dan istiqamahkan aku, suami dan generasiku hingga hari akhirat dalam usaha ini, dan semoga Allah bagi kefahaman pada mereka yang memandang serong, membenci atau menghina kerja ini. Ameen..” bisik hati Syadah

karya asal : karkunah

Hadiths: The Marriage Process in Islam

Before Marrying

Selecting a Spouse

The first thing we should look for when marrying is how committed the person is to Islam. Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi was sallam) said, "A woman is normally sought as a wife for her wealth, beauty, nobility, or religiousness (adherence to Islam), but choose a religious woman and you will prosper. " (Muslim) And he said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. You should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a loser. "(Bukhari) And he said, "The whole world is a provision, and the best object of benefit of the world is the pious woman. " (Muslim)

The same holds true when looking for a husband, as the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi was sallam) said, "When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks to marry your daughter, comply with his request. If you do not do so, there will be corruption and great evil on earth. " (Tirmidhi)

Of course, both parties have to agree to marry one another and they can not be forced to marry one another . The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi was sallam) said, "A woman whom has been previously married has more right concerning herself than her guardian, and a virgin’s consent must be asked about herself…" (Bukhari and Muslim)

Rules of Al-Khutbah (Request to marry a woman and the acceptance of the proposal)

The man has permission to see her face before agreeing to marry as the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi was sallam) said, "Go and look at her (the woman you are considering marrying) because this will help your time together to be strengthened. " ( Ahmad )

After a man and woman have agreed to marry, they have to remember that the man is still not her mahram (men prohibited to her, including her father, brothers, sons, maternal and paternal uncles, and nephews). This means they can not still deal with one another as partners in any way (such as shaking hands, gazing at one another, being alone together, going out together, etc.), or go out with one another as we see people in the west doing. Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi was sallam) said, "Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him not have a private audience with a woman without her mahram. " ( Ahmad )

The Wedding Ceremony (Nikaah) Components

1 –Consent: ‘Aishah(R) asked Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi was sallam) if women must be asked for their permission of marriage. Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi was sallam) replied, "Yes. " She said, ‘The virgin is asked for her permission but she gets shy. Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi was sallam) said, "Her silence is her permission. " (Bukhari and Muslim)

2 –The Wallee (Woman’s Guardian): Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi was sallam) said, "There is no nikaah except with a wallee. " ( Ahmad ,Abu Dawood, Tirmidhi)

3 –Two Witnesses: Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi was sallam) said, "There is no marriage except with a wallee and trustworthy witnesses. " (Sahih- Bayhaqee) Also, "There is no marriage except with a wallee and two witnesses. " (Sahih amount, Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi was sallam) said, "Look for one even if it was an iron ring. " (Bukhari and Muslim)

The woman is not obliged to give the man anything at the time of the wedding, as is done in some cultures.

Acts to be Avoided

We should be careful to not act as the disbelievers do regarding their mixing of men and women, wearing tuxedos and white wedding gowns, exchanging rings, kissing in public, etc. Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi was sallam) said, "Whoever resembles a people is one of them. " (Abu Dawood)

After the Wedding Supporting One’s Wife

The man is responsible for providing for his wife, as Allah says (what means),

"Let the wealthy man spend according to his means; and let the man whose provisions are restricted spend according to what Allah has given him. Allah does not burden a soul beyond what He has given it, and Allah will grant ease after a hardship. " (Al-Talaq65:7)Al-Jaami’)

4 –The Mahr (Dowry): Allah says (what means): The mahr can be of any

"And give to the women their dowry with a good heart, but if they out of their own good pleasure remit any part of it to you, take it and enjoy it without fear of any harm. " (Al-Nisa4:4)

amount, Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi was sallam) said, "Look for one even if it was an iron ring. " (Bukhari and Muslim)

The woman is not obliged to give the man anything at the time of the wedding, as is done in some cultures.

Acts to be Avoided

We should be careful to not act as the disbelievers do regarding their mixing of men and women, wearing tuxedos and white wedding gowns, exchanging rings, kissing in public, etc.
Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi was sallam) said, "Whoever resembles a people is one of them. " (Abu Dawood)

After the Wedding Supporting One’s WifeThe man is responsible for providing for his wife, as Allah says (what means),
"Let the wealthy man spend according to his means; and let the man whose provisions are restricted spend according to what Allah has given him. Allah does not burden a soul beyond what He has given it, and Allah will grant ease after a hardship. " (Al-Talaq65:7)

Islam even gives women the right to take secretly money from their husbands if the husbands are not providing for them. Hind, the wife of Abu Sufyan, came to Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi was sallam) and said,

 "O Messenger of Allah, Abu Sufyan is a stingy man and does not give me and my children enough provisions except when I take something from him with out his knowledge. " Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi was sallam) said, "Take what is reasonably sufficient for you and your children. " (Bukhari and Muslim)

Educating One’s FamilySince the man has put in the position of providing for his family, he must also provide them with the proper Islamic education to keep them from the hellfire.

Allah says (what means),"O you who believe! Save yourselves and your families from a fire whose fuel is men and stones (that were worshipped), over it are appointed angels stern and severe, who disobey not the Commands they receive from Allah, but do that which they are commanded. " (Al-Tahrim66:6)

Both the husband and wife should make sure their home is a place where Allah is remembered and His Commandments are reflected and acted upon. Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi was sallam) said, "The similitude of a home in which Allah is remembered and a home in which He is not is like the living and the dead. " (Muslim)

The Wife Obeying Her HusbandA woman must obey her husband as long as he does not tell her to perform any haraam(unlawful) acts. Allah says (what means),"…the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in absence what Allah would have then guard. " (Al-Nisa4:34)

Kind Treatment To One’s WifeJust because Allah has given men a position of authority does not give them the right to abuse it. They have to treat their wives in the best manner. Allah says (what means), "Live with them honorably. " (Al-Nisa4:19)

Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi was sallam) said, "The believer with the most complete faith is the one with the best character, and the best of them are those whom treat their women the best. " (Tirmidhi)

We can see from the seerah (biography) of Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi was sallam) that he would help his wives with housework and would engage in games with them as well.This article did not cover all the aspects of marriage, but it is hoped it was beneficial. Anything good in this article is from Allah and anything incorrect is from myself.